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Facts To Fit The Theory

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Operation Persuasion
Sir:
It is my duty to report that we have had no success whatever persuading the human colonists on Cyrene IV to join the Federation. We've told them what will happen if the Ursoids land on their planet. So far as it's possible to put it into words, we've told them what will happen if the Stath land on their planet. We've warned them that an unidentified scout ship of suspected Stath origin has been detected and backtracked to their solar system, and that the logical next step is a Stath occupation force, which can be thwarted if the colonists join the Federation. We've explained all about the Triracial Mutual Non-aggression Pact. The colonists, however, talk mystic gibberish about mind-states and self-control, and refuse to sign the treaty.
 
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Extreme Persuasion
Sir:
In view of the glaring realities of the situation, the colonists must be brought, by whatever means are necessary, to join the Federation.
I hereby specifically authorize you to use force to compel the signing of the Treaty. An agreement made under duress will be held perfectly valid by either the Stath or the Ursoids, who use force whenever it appears profitable.
Any disciplinary action resulting from this will fall, not upon you, but upon me. I take entire responsibility.
By "force" I specifically refer to any and all methods of compulsion, including the taking of hostages, torture, and summary infliction of the death penalty.
These actions, however brutal, are precisely what the inhabitants of Cyrene IV will experience daily if the Stath take over their planet.
The need for speed is urgent.
A force of twenty-eight Stath ships, including transports, passed our watch-ship at Breakpoint Secoy at 0811 yesterday, and is expected in the vicinity of Cyrene IV sometime tomorrow.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: All Unit Leaders
Subject: Operation Persuasion
Sirs:
Because all methods of ordinary persuasion have failed to induce the colonists to join the Federation, and because a Stath invasion force is now en route, the signing of the treaty will be carried out by compulsion.
Seize immediately the elders of each community, and compel them to straightway sign the document of agreement.
Avoid unnecessary brutality. But where force is necessary, you must use it.
The Stath are expected tomorrow.
 

 
From: Sam Smith, 2nd Lt., TSFR
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Difficulties
Sir:
I am prepared to use whatever force is necessary to prevent the Stath getting control of this planet, but unfortunately all the elders in my district have vanished.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Sam Smith, 2nd Lt., TSFR
Subject: Signing of Treaty
Sir:
If you can't get the elders, seize anyone available, appoint him assistant elder, knock him over the head if necessary, and guide his hand across the page. The important thing is to get the papers signed.
 

 
From: Sol Abel, S/Sgt., TSFR
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Operation Persuasion
Sir:
Following your orders, I had four of the elders in my district seized for the purpose of signing the treaty. The elders, however, explained why they could not sign, and at the time it somehow seemed reasonable. We could not bring ourselves to force them, and they walked out. The papers are not signed. I request to be relieved of command of this unit.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Sol Abel, S/Sgt., TSFR
Subject: Difficulty with Elders
Sir:
Forge the names of the elders on the proper lines of the documents. I will take responsibility. Have four different men sign so there is no unusual similarity of handwriting. Your request to be relieved of command is refused.
 

 
From: J. Hunt Rollo, 2nd Lt., TSFR
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Illegal Orders
Sir:
Operation Persuasion is an improvisation. The procedures, down to the smallest details, are irregular. Your latest order is completely unacceptable.
The Procedure of Federation, Section 21, Paragraph G, states: "No compulsion or extraordinary methods of persuasion shall be used."
It is my duty as an officer to uphold the honor of the Service.
I hereby notify you of my intent to report this infraction to H. James Rollo, the Inspector General of the Space Force, if you do not immediately rescind it.
 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: J. Hunt Rollo, 2nd Lt., TSFR
Subject: Disobedience to Orders
Sir:
You are hereby removed from command of Unit I.
You are under arrest.
You are ordered to report to the command ship by 1400 TST, or you will be considered AWOL.
Any attempt to use any communicator or other means to send any message off this planet, directly or indirectly, will be construed as insubordination, and dealt with accordingly.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Difficulties
Sir:
I transmit herewith communications relevant to incorporation of Cyrene IV into the Federation. Any suggestions will be deeply appreciated.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Suggestions
Sir:
H. James Rollo, I seem to remember, has an only son named J. Hunt Rollo. The family is rich and influential. I think you are within your rights, but what will happen if Rollo's family goes to work on you, I do not know. They are what is known as an "Old Service Family." My advice is to show young Rollo my original order, do everything you can to conciliate him, give him a job as your special assistant, or whatever else he wants, within reason. As long as it doesn't interfere with your mission, handle the young heir with kid gloves whenever you can.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Progress So Far
Sir:
I am happy to report that we have now, by various methods that it is not necessary to go into here, got quite a few signatures on the Treaty. The papers are made up in proper legal form with necessary seals, signatures of witnesses, et cetera, all duly affixed. I am sending copies of the photostats to you by facsimile. These you can show to the Stath commander, so I guess that takes care of the problem of Cyrene IV.
As for Lieutenant Rollo, I have tried the things you suggested, without success. He insists that I rescind the order, destroy the treaty papers, and, if necessary, turn the planet over to the wringnecks when they get here.
He gives me one hour to comply with his demands.
Left to my own devices, I know what I would do.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Insubordination
Sir:
2nd Lt. J. Hunt Rollo is to be shackled and placed in the smallest compartment aboard your ship to await trial. He is to be fed, given water, and allowed the use of sanitary facilities. He may not communicate.
Two blasted careers are a small price to save a planet.
Have your communications technician check your facsimile machine. All we get up here are lines of segregated large and small letters, bits of what appears to be handwriting broken into its component parts, lines of dots, and other gibberish.
 

 
From: G. L. Park 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Facsimile Error
Sir:
The communications technicians tell me there is nothing wrong on our end, and say the effect you describe would be possible only if the electromagnetic wave-trains were somehow altered en route, so as to arrive at your machine in a different sequence from that in which they left ours. This, the technicians say, is impossible in the circumstances.
Incidentally, I am unable to comply immediately with your order concerning Lt. Rollo. Your message reached me after the expiration of the hour's grace allowed by the lieutenant, who immediately went to the long-range communicator in my command room. The communicator just happened to be under repair at the moment, and a heavy electrical charge was delivered to the lieutenant as he switched it on.
He is now in sick bay.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Transmission Trouble
Sir:
We are still getting a mishmash on the fax. My technicians assure me there is nothing wrong on this end. I must have the necessary papers here when the Stath fleet shows up, so kindly get this matter straightened out.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Psychic Sabotage
Sir:
We have checked everything we can think of, and have run test transmissions using pages of regulations, maps, handwriting, and photos of pin-up girls. Everything goes through but the treaty. Your people transmitted to us the faulty copy you've been receiving. We received it, however, as perfect reproductions of the photostats.
One of the colonists told T/3 Berensen that the treaty cannot be transmitted, because we are trying to manipulate the colony against its will, and the elders are, therefore, psychically jamming the transmission.
That is as good an explanation as I have heard yet.
All I can suggest is that I call you on the communicator, and hold the treaty up to the screen while your men take photographs of it.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Communicator Trouble
Sir:
Something out of the ordinary is going on here.
All we could see on the screen was the same gibberish we get on the fax. Everything else on the screen came through, but not the treaty.
I would have my men run up a completely fake treaty, save for one thing: The Stath have a perfect right to send a ship down and demand to see the original. If you have the copy, and I have the original, it is going to look peculiar. A little heavy persuasion to get the treaty signed will never bother the Stath, since they would do the same themselves. But a completely fake treaty is something else again. To the Stath, only weaklings use fakery, and they despise weaklings. They would split this end of the universe wide open if they spot us at that.
I want to have a copy of some kind to give them when they show up. Read the treaty aloud over the communicator, and we will record it at this end. I will then give a copy of the record spool to the Stath, explaining that my facsimile machine is out of order.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Voice Recording
Sir:
T/3 Berensen was reading the treaty as written. Every one of us in the room heard him, and when I took the paper and read it, the others heard me. Moreover, when the recordings you took were played back, we all heard them clearly as first Berensen's voice, then mine. It was all perfectly intelligible to us.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Bad Transmission
Sir:
All we got on this end was gobble. I don't know who is bewitched, or where the trouble takes place. But I am not going to give this spool of gibberish to the Stath.
Instead, I will tell them that the treaty has been signed, but owing to freak communications troubles, I have no copy.
The trouble with this is, my say-so is not enough to keep them off the planet. Their whole landing force will probably go down, and there is no predicting what will happen.
Their landing force will outnumber you by at least ten-to-one, so you had better call in your outlying units, take over the most formidable piece of terrain you can find, sink your command and scout ships in mutually-supporting positions, arm yourselves to the teeth, and then act punctiliously correct when their high officers show up to inspect the treaty.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Change in Plans
Sir:
I am now fortifying myself in exceptionally rugged country, and expect no trouble from the Stath.
But as for showing them the treaty, a hitch has now developed. The safe in which the treaty was put is stuck shut.
We had half-a-dozen copies around, that might do temporarily in a pinch. The one on the fax, however, adhered to a part of the machine in a way I have never seen or heard of before, and peeled off in a long narrow strip with fuzzy edges, out of which it is impossible to reconstruct anything. The copy we tried to send you by communicator was inside the procedures manual we used as transmission check, and when we opened up the manual to take out the copy, the pages on either side stuck to it, so we had to use a knife to open them up. We then found that the paper had split down the middle edgewise so that there was nothing to be seen but two blank pages.
Another of the treaty copies was in the control room, but the cook accidentally set a tray of hot coffee on the treaty, and when he went out the treaty clung to the bottom of the tray. The cook then rammed the tray into the washer, and after the high-pressure steam nozzles got through with it, that copy wasn't worth thinking about, either. There were two copies together atop the safe, but after we landed here, an animal like a beaver ambled up the ramp into the command ship, walked down the corridor, went through the doorway as someone stepped out, and at this moment both copies blew off the top of the safe onto the floor. The beaver ate them.
We had six copies. This accounts for five of them. As you know, we were never able to get the jumbled versions you tried to transmit to us, because they came in as perfectly legible copies. Nevertheless, I have one of these copies on my desk. This copy now starts off as follows:
"AAAAaaaaaaaBBBbbbbCCCC CccccccDDDDddddddddEEEEEe eeeeeeeeeeeeee"
Even assuming we get the safe open, which I doubt, it seems to me just as well not to show this treaty to the Stath. I hope you will agree with me that whatever we are up against here, what has happened so far does not auger well for getting rid of the Stath with this treaty.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Transmission Trouble
Sir:
Put the garbled copy on your facsimile machine at once. In your last message, the quotation from the beginning of the treaty was for the first time readable. It begins with the perfectly clear paragraph:
"AAAAaaaaaaBBBbbbbCCCC CcccccDDDDddddddd EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Garbling of Treaty
Sir:
I have now sent the garbled copy. But I hope you will change your mind, as we have finally got the safe open, and we find that the treaty itself is garbled.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Change of Plan
Sir:
The Stath invasion force is now in normal space approaching Cyrene IV.
I hereby agree to your request for a change of plan.
The copy of the treaty you sent by facsimile was received here in perfectly legible condition. Unfortunately, there appeared in large skeleton letters in the background, diagonally across the page from upper left to lower right, the word: INVALID.
I suggest you confine your future activities on the planet to observation.
Kindly send me immediately your impression of the technological level of the colonists of Cyrene IV.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Technology of Cyrene IV
Sir:
So far as we have been able to determine, the technology of the colonists is restricted to the working of wood, rock, et cetera, with minor production of copper, iron, silver, and a variety of precious stones. Their main activity seems to be a sort of mental discipline that they call simply "self-control." They claim to be able to control their "internal mental state" with great accuracy.
Their argument against joining the Federation was that by voluntarily agreeing to take up our system of technological development—a standard provision of the treaty—they would open themselves to mental distractions. This, they said, appeared more serious than a Stath invasion, which would involve no moral obligation.
Any attempt to get across various unpleasant aspects of Stath occupation was met by the comment:
"Do you fear it will cause us to lose our self-control?"
This seemed pathetic. But after this business with the treaty. we keep thinking of a comment of the elders, which I quote as nearly as I can remember it:
"Self-control is a tool which may be used within as well as without. When the emotions are stilled, and consciousness focused, and all the powers of a man leashed at his command, do you think this man is less for his diligence and effort within than if he had spent the same diligence and effort without? If ten thousand years of the combined labors of men suffice to disclose in the outer world such things as electricity, do you suppose that ten thousand years of inner search will disclose nothing?"
I think this answers your question. The chief industry of Cyrene IV appears to be the development of a philosophy of self-control.
I just remembered another of their comments: "Are man's external means to become ever greater and more dangerous without, and man himself to become no greater and more self-controlled within?"
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Stath Occupation
Sir:
The Stath are, of course, now in effective command of the planet. I have obtained for you and your force permission to remain on the planet for the time being.
Let me know how the Stath occupation is proceeding.

* * *


From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Atrocities
Sir:
The Stath occupation is proceeding just as you might expect.
We put camouflaged receptors in various places when we pulled back, and we now have a better view than we like.
The first attack was met by a concerted outpouring of smiling women and children who put wreaths of flowers around the necks of the dumbfounded soldiers. Before the soldiers could recover, the colonist men came out beaming and carrying big platters of food. The Stath, of course, are always hungry, and this broke up the invasion.
The Stath Invasion Force Commander, a long thin weasel with sharp teeth and shrewd eyes, immediately got in touch with us on the screen, and in the name of the Triracial Mutual Nonaggression Pact demanded to know what the colonists were up to. I tried to explain that the colonists were religious and probably were just giving the feast out of good fellowship. The Stath said, "In that case, we'll settle it soon enough."
About ten minutes later, fresh Stath troops marched up, fired into the colonists and feasting soldiers, and the invasion got back into the usual swing of things.
I am sending up some representative viewer reels by simultran.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Atrocities
Sir:
This is horrible.
Keep your defenses strong.
There is a peculiar phenomenon on this Reel #2 you sent up. In the sequence at the beach where the soldiers are charging the women with bayonets, the colonist men are in the background standing close together, faces blank and grim, and a dust devil sweeps across the beach to develop into a sandstorm and obscure nearly everything in sight. The way this happened is odd. Was this an actual sandstorm, or is there some defect in the film?

* * *


From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Strange Phenomena
Sir:
The sandstorm was, so far as we can tell, perfectly real. The buffeting of the grains of blown sand and grit was so severe that it ground the lens and clouded reception from that receptor in subsequent transmissions.
This was by no means the only unusual phenomenon.
I am sending up several more reels, one of which, you will notice, gives a view of a very large waterspout, which disrupted a boatload of Stath soldiers on their way out to ransack a village on an island.
One thing worth mentioning is that we have seen none of these striking phenomena when an elder has been around. You will note on Reel #10, the Stath soldiers who somehow wound up on a tiny ledge about fifty feet up the side of a cliff. There was no elder around at the time, but only some of the younger colonists. How the Stath got up there is a good question.
One of the elders stopped by here a little while ago. He looked very self-contained, as usual. He said that the basic cause of the trouble is the Stath philosophy, which divides all things into krang and blogl, krang being those things that can protect themselves, and blogl those things which cannot protect themselves, and the Stath's basic law of nature being that anything which can protect itself will protect itself. The catch in this, said the elder, is that there are various ways of protecting oneself, and various motives apart from attack and defense. Earth's apparently most helpless and naturally unarmed creature is man, actually the planet's deadliest predator. Moreover, attack and defense are not man's chief motive; man's chief motive is, roughly, control of self and environment. But this motive makes man very dangerous when provoked.
We said there would be provocation enough now. The elder said, yes, and now we would see how much control the self-satisfied younger colonists really have.
If it were not for whatever slight comfort our presence may give the colonists, I'd want to leave now. To watch this idly is almost too much to bear. And in a few days, the Stath overlordship ceremony of kranolol takes place, in which choice young specimens of the conquered race are publicly cooked and eaten, as symbolic of absorption of the planet into the Stath Confederacy.
Do we have to stay for this?
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Your Presence on Cyrene IV
Sir:
Stay, but don't watch the viewers. Before it starts, knock off watching the viewers for six hours or so, then take it up again, viewing only from the recorders. When you get to the start of this hideous ceremony, skip it and return to the viewers. I think this period would be a good time to keep the men busy with the ship's defenses, and preparing for take-off.
You ought to stay during this ceremony, because if anyone comes seeking sanctuary, he will be likely to need it more at this time than at any other. Afterwards, the colonists will be stunned, just so many vegetables. Then will be the time to leave. It won't matter then.
This is a horrible thing, but remember, we tried to save them. We did everything we could. I don't think we ought to start an interstellar war over this now when all they'd have had to do a few days ago was to sign a paper we were begging them to sign, and then just let us show it to the Stath.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Departure
Sir:
We are now entering the period when the ceremony of kranolol is to be celebrated. There is a peculiar feeling in the atmosphere, as if everything were a little bit smaller and brighter than usual. The air is very still. There is enough breeze to move the leaves, but looking out at them directly, it still seems as if we are seeing them on a screen with the sound shut off.
I am following your suggestions for viewing, and have the men busy on details of departure.
Lt. Rollo, who was going to report us to the Inspector General for illegality in trying to keep the Stath off the planet, escaped from sick bay a little while ago, and tried to get at the communicator. Several of the men grabbed him, and he is now the only man on the ship who will have the opportunity to watch kranolol as it takes place.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Ceremony
Sir:
For the benefit of our records, and of the next arms appropriation bill, I hope you are getting as much of the ceremony on film as possible; and for reference purposes, I hope all the films are synchrotimed as they come in.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Films
Sir:
We are getting everything we can on film. It is all being synchrotimed.
The ceremony started about ten minutes ago.
Lt. Rollo got loose from the viewer and went around like a madman, shouting for volunteers to go out with him and kill Stath. I was afraid the whole crew might volunteer, so I laid him out with a wrench that happened to be handy, and he is now back in sick bay.
The weather has been getting rapidly worse. In ten minutes it has deteriorated from a cloudy day to a whole gale.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Seismic Activity
Sir:
Volcanic activity has broken out on the far side of Cyrene IV from your base.
Be prepared to leave the planet at once.

* * *


From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt.. TSFR
Subject: Seismic Activity
Sir:
Heavy earthquakes and volcanic eruptions are in progress in our section of the planet.
The winds here were clocked at a hundred and fifty miles an hour till the anemometer blew away.
We can't take off in these winds. We would be smashed to bits before we could gain altitude.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Survival
Sir:
I am still trying to reach you by every possible means of communication.
Reply when able.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Survival
Sir:
We are getting things put back together again.
We are all present and accounted for except Lt. Rollo, who came to in the middle of the hurricane and charged out to kill Stath.
In going out, he opened up the main hatch, and as he was blown away in no time, he was unable to shut it. Naturally, he had not set it on automatic-close, and he did not remember to shut the inner air-lock door, either.
The ship, of course, is airtight, and we had not opened it up since the rapid drop in atmospheric pressure began. It also happened that the hurricane was blowing crosswise of the hatch opening, which treated us to a Venturi effect. The result is that we are now suffering from a number of popped eardrums, burst containers, sprung bulkheads and jammed hatches.
I hope you will check and let me know definitely whether Lt. Rollo is really a member of an "Old Service Family," as I am getting tired of handling him with kid gloves.
As soon as we have things straightened out here, we will go out and do whatever we possibly can for the colonists.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Aid to Colonists
Sir:
By all means do what you can for the colonists.
I have checked on Rollo and he is, unfortunately, actually a member of an Old Service Family. I didn't mean to imply that he can, therefore, get away with anything. You will find, however, if you incur the family's enmity, that funny little things will happen from time to time, and they will always be to your disadvantage.
I will see what backing we can get on this from higher up.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: T. Moley Lammer, Major, TSF
Subject: Personal and Private
Sir:
I am sending correspondence on a matter concerning which I would value your advice.
 

 
From: T. Moley Lammer, Major, TSF
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Personal and Private
Sir:
Good God, do you have any idea what you're doing? That is you-know-who's son. Don't try to drag me into this.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Disciplinary Action
Sir:
I'm afraid we will have to go it alone on this. But somebody simply has to stick his neck out occasionally.
How are your rescue operations coming?
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Rescue Operations
Sir:
We found Lt. Rollo wrapped around a tree at the bottom of a nearby gully. He is now back in sick bay mouthing threats. If this is what Old Service Families come to after a few generations, it's a sorry commentary.
We are now over the site of the former Stath main headquarters base. As you see from the view tapes we are sending up, the base is completely demolished, the ships strewn in all directions.
You will note in the close view a mass of seaweed, a number of giant crabs, and an enormous squid with half-a-dozen arms wrapped around the Stath ships. These sea creatures came in on a tidal wave. You can probably hear on the audio the grinding, popping noises, and the Stath screams. When we get through rescuing colonists, we will come back here and see what we can do.
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Rescue of Stath
Sir:
Don't burn out any bearings in the rush.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Cleaning-Up Operations
Sir:
Lt. Rollo, all of whose ravings I have gotten down in quintuplicate, on tape, has suddenly decided to forget about his various charges. In view of the fact that he has been almost electrocuted, hit over the head with a wrench, blown away in a hurricane, and this morning—while trying to get to a communicator—got himself wound up in a bandage-fabricating machine, I am inclined to let it go at that.
The Stath are just about wiped out. One small scout ship of theirs streaked out of here at a flat angle with its tubes white and the whole nose section cherry red. The remaining Stath survivors are hysterical. The mere sight of a colonist throws them into terror.
The colonists, meanwhile, are having a disagreement. I am sending you spools of what is going on between the elders and the other male colonists. The elders point to the huge heaps of seaweed, mud, tangles of uprooted trees, smashed houses, strewn wreckage from spaceships, tongues of lava thrust out into the steaming ocean, dead fish, feeding giant crabs, dead Stath, and demand, "Do you call this self-control?"
The colonists insist that the elders remember what the Stath were doing at the time. The elders say, "We don't approve of their depravity. But what did you do?"
The colonists hang their heads and mumble. The elders say, "Did you have to use a sledgehammer to squash a gnat? Don't you know what you can do with small measures rightly timed? How long do you think it's going to take to straighten out this mess? Where was all this vaunted self-control we've heard about?"
In accordance with standard procedure, I have sent in my final signed report on this situation by facsimile, one copy to you, and four copies to Major T. Moley Lammer for transmittal through channels to Sector HQ, Colonization Council, et cetera. The report was strictly factual, but I have already gotten a long reply from which I quote the following:
Without definitely saying so, this report raises the clear implication that the natural disturbances on Cyrene IV were somehow caused by the colonists and their odd religious cult. I cannot initial this report as it stands. My communications technicians assure me that the phenomena connected with the attempted treaty transmission are not possible in the present state of the art. I will excuse this first report because of the extreme nervous strain you have experienced in the last few days. But, if you insist upon these hallucinations, I will find it my duty to report you for rest, rehabilitation, and, of course, psychiatric examination— 
All I have done is to factually report what happened. I have the proofs here in front of me, and they support every statement. Lammer knows nothing about it, has not been here, has seen nothing, but does not hesitate to state that it is all a hallucination. Now what? Am I supposed to lie to please him, and thereby misinform higher authority?
 

 
From: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Report
Sir:
Congratulations that the Rollo mess is out of the way.
As for your report, I am afraid there is a little gimmick you will have to become acquainted with. It is known as "Occam's Razor." It is expressed as follows: "Essentia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem," which means, roughly, "Root causes should not be multiplied without necessity." As usually applied, it really means, "without dire necessity."
In other words, you are to be extremely careful about introducing new basic concepts into any discussion of physical facts. Occam's Razor is necessary to save us from getting overwhelmed with Vital Essences, Natural Tendencies, Mutual Affinities, and so on, to the point where they clog the mental machinery.
Now, Occam's Razor has one disadvantage. Rather than change any basic concept, we tend to introduce a host of corrections and refinements to existing concepts. The resulting mental picture of reality is like the Ptolemaic picture of the universe. The picture becomes extremely complex, for want of changing a basic concept.
The Copernican picture, by contrast, is comparatively simple and easy to understand, because a change was made in the basic concept. But note that Copernicus did not publish his system till just before he died. The authorities, except in rare cases, are wholeheartedly in favor of Occam's Razor.
In fact, they often carry it further, knock off the last couple of words, and change it to Occam's Procrustian Bed: "Root causes should not be multiplied." Any fact or occurrence that does not fit present theories either gets stretched out or chopped off, to make it fit.
Your report introduces the concept that it is possible to affect the physical universe by some other process than the familiar "desire-intent-muscular contraction" process. This is a basic change of concept.
It seems to me, you will have to somehow make your report fit the present accepted concepts, in order to even get it into the records.
Be careful you don't change the facts. But do your best to dredge up some interpretation that appears to fit accepted concepts.
 
From: T. Moley Lammer, Major, TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Report
Sir:
I am being pressed by higher authority for your report and full supporting documents on the Cyrene IV situation. Kindly send these as soon as possible.
Let me again warn you that an incoherent, fantastic, or unscientific report will be considered evidence of the necessity for your immediate removal from command responsibility.
Send me at once a brief précis of the situation, in comprehensible form, that I may forward in reply to urgent queries.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: Myron Baker, Capt., TSF
Subject: Further developments
Sir:
From recent conversations with these elders, it appears to me that they are well aware of having us in a bind. We disbelieve their theories, but, somehow or other, we now have to explain what happened. How can we possibly do that without getting some enlightenment jammed into our skulls whether we like it or not?
It appears to me that the elders have worked things so that we, the Stath, and their own overconfident younger colonists, have all gotten a stiff jolt to the midsection out of this. Maybe this self-control stuff has something to it after all.
Anyway, I hope your advice about the report is right, as I have just received an urgent demand from the major.
Wish me luck. I see I have got to fabricate a scientific explanation for what happened here.
 

 
From: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
To: T. Moley Lammer, Major, TSF
Subject: Report
Sir:
Permit me to express my gratitude for your understanding and consideration.
Pursuant to your request for a précis covering developments in the situation, I enclose the following:
"On March 2, 2416, at 0817 hrs., TGT, Temporary Scouting and Reconnaissance Detachment 4662, consisting of four T6J scout ships, five T7 scout ships, and one T7A scout ship converted to command ship, carrying a total force of one hundred eighty-three men and four commissioned officers, 1st Lt. Gene L. Park, TSFR, Cmdg., landed on the day side of the planet Cyrene IV. Our mission was to: 1) warn the colonists of the imminent possibility of Stath or Ursoid occupation; and 2) if possible, persuade the colonists to join the Federation of Humanity.
"Due to the theological resistance of the colonists to Federation, the signing of the treaty was delayed until word of the imminent arrival of a Stath Invasion Fleet, consisting of twenty-eight ships, including transports. The completed treaty was obtained only at the last moment, and by dint of very strong and insistent urging.
"There now occurred an additional delay, which may be satisfactorily explained only in the light of subsequent developments. Transmission of the completed treaty to the watch ship overhead was garbled repeatedly. Thus when the Stath Invasion Fleet arrived it proved impossible to present them with the required certified copy of the treaty. We were now also notified by a representative of the colonists that the latter wished us not to transmit the treaty to the watch ship, as they considered it to be invalid, owing to their aforementioned religious scruples.
"The Stath Invasion Fleet then landed on the planet. The colonists attempted to welcome them with feasts and flowers, but violence broke out almost immediately.
"The colonists having destroyed our case by repudiating the treaty, the Stath immediately invoked the Triracial Mutual Nonaggression Pact to assure our noninterference in the affairs of the occupation, but granted us permission, for the time being, to remain on the planet.
"The Stath occupation proceeded with its customary violence and brutality, until celebration of the Stath ceremony of kranolol was begun on March 26, 2416, at 09l6 TGT.
"Prior to this time, there had occurred a number of minor but unusual meteorological disturbances, including severe winds, sandstorms, waterspouts, and local storms of unusual character.
"There now occurred a major seismological disturbance, culminating in near worldwide volcanic activity. Storms of hurricane force, coupled with earthquakes, tidal waves, and an uprising of the enslaved colonists, terminated the Stath occupation in a wave of catastrophe and bloodshed from which only one Stath ship is known to have escaped. No casualties to Temp. S. and R. Det. 4662 resulted from this storm.
"The colonists attribute their deliverance to a form of divine intervention.
"The failure of transmission, carefully investigated without satisfactory result at the time, may now be attributed to high-level electromagnetic disturbances in the atmosphere, contingent upon the extraordinary meteorological conditions obtaining at the time.
"Following relief and rescue operations on the planet Cyrene IV, Temporary Scout and Reconnaissance Detachment 4662 is continuing its efforts to persuade the colonists to join the Federation of Humanity."
 

 
From: T. Moley Lammer, Major, TSF
To: G. L. Park, 1st Lt., TSFR
Subject: Report
Sir:
I am forwarding your brief report immediately.
Let me congratulate you on the clarity, brevity, and soundness of this new communication. In contrast to your previous message, this explanation of the difficulties on Cyrene IV is truly scientific.
Kindly hasten your full report concerning the situation on Cyrene IV.
 

 

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